When you’ve been single for a while (sometimes years), and someone finally comes along who really rocks your boat, it’s easy to get lost in the rush of new romance. You’ve been longing for love and are tired of being alone, and it feels almost impossible not to devote as much of your time and energy as you can to feeding your new romance.

After all, feeling romantic about someone and falling in love is one of the best feelings any of us can ever experience. And so, before we know it, we’re totally swept away and wrapped up with the new man in our life. But it’s at this particular time – when you’re feeling all giddy about someone – that you should keep three important things in mind to make sure you get the relationship you really want…with the right man.

BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN YOU WANT

It’s in this early stage of romance where we often turn a blind eye to things that make us feel uneasy with a man. The early stages of dating are a getting-to-know-each-other phase where you should both take the time to decide whether or not you want to pursue something deeper.

Do his values mesh with yours, or do you have irreconcilable differences? Is he kind, or does he act rude with the waiter? The only way to discover this is to get to know a man in different situations before you decide if he’s a good match for you.

Of course, in order to know if he’s the right match for you, you need to have a clear idea of what you want from a relationship to begin with. You also need to be convinced that you deserve all the love and romance you long for.

If there’s something inside of you that in any way makes you think you aren’t worthy of a man’s love, passion, and attention, then you will have a difficult time connecting with the kind of man who can give this to you. You will also be more likely to get involved with a man who isn’t right for you. To attract the right man and develop the relationship you want with him, you must first be clear about your heart’s desire and believe you deserve nothing less.
WORK ON RAISING YOUR SELF ESTEEM EVERY DAY

Self-esteem is the key to getting – and keeping – love from a man. If you don’t have self-esteem, you won’t have what I call a High Degree of Difficulty.

That’s when a man perceives that you honor and respect yourself, and you know what you will or will not tolerate. This makes you incredibly attractive to a man and is what can make the right man fall more in love with you every day.

We women, because we are such givers, often neglect ourselves, our friends, and our interests when a man comes into our lives. We’ll spend a lot of energy making sure he’s happy, and we often become drained in the process. Our self-esteem goes down, as does our High Degree of Difficulty.

Here’s the good news: you can instantly raise your Degree of Difficulty. You do this by being good to yourself – by pampering yourself, doing activities you like, taking care of yourself, and redirecting all the energy you’d normally spend on a man onto yourself.
MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY FIRST

If you want to have the kind of relationship that will make you feel secure and loved, here is my one rule for you: focus on making yourself happy every moment of your life.

This might seem counterintuitive at first – aren’t we women supposed to make our men happy? Well yes, but it’s not how you might think. That’s because what makes a good man happy is to make us happy!

Good men like to give you presents, they like to take you out, they like to call you, they like to be faithful to you, and they like the way it feels when you feel good about yourself when you’re with them.

Moreover, they like the way it feels when you let them know you feel good. So, simply start expecting that the man in your life will do his best to make you happy – without asking him to – and let him know when he does make you happy.

The right man will knock himself out to make you happy, but only if you let him. So believe you deserve the relationship you want, keep the focus on you, and always put yourself first. When you do, you’ll be on your way to more love than you ever imagined.

Rori teaches women how to attract the right man and have the kind of close, connected relationship they’ve dreamed of. To learn specific ways to relate to a man – from the early stages of dating all the way through commitment – subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover a new, fun way to date that’s all about you, raises your self-esteem, and draws the right man to you effortlessly.

Here are five signs that he is interested in you too. If any of the following happens, he is probably trying to get close enough to ask you out:

1. He tells someone

Is he interested? He likes you if he tells a mutual friend that he wants to know more about you, or he asks other people who you are and where you’re from. He is trying to act like he’s “just asking” but his questions indicate more than a casual interest. And when he tells someone that he finds you attractive, he probably knows that it will get back to you. He’s hoping it does.

2. The look

He gives you a look that betrays his calm exterior. Even though he is across the room, “that look” he has says it all. It is sweeping, from your head to your toes, and then his eyes linger on yours. You think you notice the beginning of a tentative smile.

3. The conversation

Does he like you? When he manages to get close enough to you, to ask you questions, he is interested. He appears to be listening and responds to what you say. He’s moving in to the ultimate question, which is: “Are you seeing anyone.” He would only ask this question if he wanted to date you, and he hopes the answer is “No.” Never ever wear a ring in public. When a guy is across the room, he cannot tell which finger it is on and he may assume incorrectly that you are taken. If he doesn’t ask you the question of whether or not you are attached, he may ask someone whom you both know.

4. He appears unexpectedly

He likes you a lot if he shows up out of nowhere. He can only do that if he has been asking people about your schedule, or he has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. His face may turn red when he sees you. A sudden, “Oh, hi,” is his way of saying, “I don’t want to seem obvious, but I am interested in you.” If you feel the same way, do not act shy. Stop and talk to him.

5. EVERYONE likes you

Is he interested? When you are well liked and a happy person, why wouldn’t he like you? Of course he does. If you don’t have a great life, however, now is your time to start working on one. Take a look at your career possibilities, body image, future, plans, and resources. You may be naturally talented at something, but it won’t matter unless you work on your strengths. Misused or unused talents fade away. School and training do not.

Instructions

1

If you are meeting your date somewhere, do not show up late and keep them waiting. Be considerate of the other person’s time. It’s not impressive to be fashionably late. If he is picking you up at your house, be ready when he arrives.

2

When you meet the guy, if you haven’t both already decided what to (i.e., what restaurant to go to, what movie to see), have a few things in mind to suggest. Think about it beforehand and be prepared. If he asks you, “Where do you want to go eat?”, don’t just say, “Oh, I don’t know. Wherever you want to go.” Say something like, “There’s a good Thai place on Third Street. Or if you like Italian, we could go to Anthony’s downtown. Do either of those sound good, or do you have anything else in mind? I’m up for anything!”

3
Don’t brag or try to show off, but do talk about yourself in a positive light.

4

Be a good listener. Don’t ramble on and on about yourself. Ask the other person questions about himself and really listen to the answers. If the guy tells you a story about himself, don’t butt in and tell a similar story about YOURSELF. When you respond, don’t always refer the conversation back to yourself.

5
Under all circumstances, be polite. This person has made an effort to spend time with you, and you should under no circumstances act too familiar. You can insult your brother and

give him a jab in the stomach, and it is all in good fun. But refrain from any sort of sarcastic humor, criticisms, and rude behavior on a first date. If your date acts in a rude manner to you, remain graceful. Usually, people treat you as you treat them. Act courteous, and expect courtesy in return. Most often, you will get it. If you don’t, then there may not be a second date, right?

6

It’s easy to drink too much if you are nervous. Limit your alcohol. If you feel you cannot do so, don’t drink. There is nothing wrong with ordering a diet soda in a restaurant or bar, when he is ordering an alcoholic beverage. Who cares. Drinking can get you into loads of trouble and you’ll always regret it.

7
Don’t act like so much is riding on this first date. If you two are meant to be, it will happen. Try to tone down the pressure of this first date as much as possible. The less pressure, the better date you will have.

8

Only if you feel like it, at the end of the date give him a kiss on the cheek or mouth. This should be a spontaneous gesture only! Don’t stress out if you don’t do this. It should only be done if it feels natural. Also, don’t make out with the guy or anything beyond that on the first date. Keep the first date innocent and light.

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Instructions

1
Make sure you have the basics covered – be on time, be positive, be polite and respectful, dress appropriately, and be prepared for the date (have a car, have money, have a phone). Now on to the specifics …

2
Watch your language! Outdated language (like referring to her as a “lady”) can be a turn-off. Swearing and bad grammer will not impress your date, either. Using fowl language around a woman may be construed as meaning you don’t have much respect for her.

3
Put some thought into your date. If you ask a woman out, have some activity or restaurant in mind. You don’t have to rigidly stick to a plan. But have in mind what you are going to do with her. A man who asks a woman out then leaves it up to the woman to orchestrate the date is not in least bit impressive.

4
Many men have a tendency to lecture or be forceful during conversation. Let your date speak. Relax and listen. Listening is SO important. If you don’t care to listen, maybe you shouldn’t be out on a date with her.

5
A woman does not like it at all if her date does not offer to pay first, or agrees to “split the bill” or readily accepts money toward the dinner check. Men, pay the restaurant bill, period. If you get to know this woman well, then she will treat you on occasion. But in general, it is the men’s duty to pay first. Sure, you can let her pay, but women just don’t like it. If a man lets a woman pay, especially on the first date, the woman feels the man is selfish, wimpy, not a man, or doesn’t care about her. That’s just the way it is. In my early twenties, I went out on a first date with a guy and I drove! I needed gas, so he offered to pump it. I thought, how nice, he’s offering to pay for the gas at least. He got out, acted like a sexy gas pump attendant, pumped the gas, then suavely sidled up to my window with a big grin and asked me to pay please. I was not in the least bit impressed, but he was clueless. I gave him the cash and he went in and paid. Then we went to a cafe, where we split the bill. Afterward, we went to a bookstore where he treated himself to several books. Needless to say, I never called him again.

6
You be the one to drive. Don’t let the woman drive you around in her car on a first date. Take charge and get in the driver’s seat. Also, don’t drive HER car.

7
Always open the door for the woman. That means car doors, too. There is never an exception to this rule. If you do not, then the woman will view you as being rude, immature, selfish, or just not into her.

8
If she looks glum, don’t bombard her with questions such as, “What’s a matter? You aren’t having a good time? What! What is it? Why are you so quiet? Why don’t you smile?” Just relax and leave her alone. If she looks disinterested, try your best to think of an interesting question to ask her about her life. Or suggest a cool activity to try together. If she doesn’t perk up fter you’ve tried for awhile, then it may be a good idea to try to wind the night down early. Be attentive to her verbal and nonverbal cues.

9
Try to keep the tone of the date lighthearted and fun. Do not get into any serious conversations, and steer cleer of dark moods. Also, do not make the mistake of getting too familiar with your date. She is not your mother or sister or girlfriend of 10 years, so keep your behavior in check.

10

Never be too touchy feely on the first date. You are out for the first time, so keep respectable boundaries. Pretend you are out with a dear friend or your sister. Touching should be affectionate and casual.

11
Never try to kiss her at the end of the date. Let her make the first move. However, make it very easy for her to do so, should she wish. A guy who is too forceful or who is a cling-on at the end of the date is a big turnoff.

12
At the end of the date, if you drop her off at her home, do not drive away until she is safely inside and has turned the light on.

If you want to discover stunning psychological tricks to make a girl fall in love with you, I strongly urge you to read the book “Be the Guy Who Gets the Girl” now! Good Luck!

8 Signs She’s Interested In You

Men hate it when women reject them. There’s nothing worse than having your ego smashed to little pieces when the woman of your dreams turns you down for a date. You really thought she was interested, but somehow you must have misread her signals.

From the male point of view, women are often far too subtle and indirect — or just plain confusing — when revealing their romantic interest. And, yes, women often send mixed messages because they’re not sure of what’s going on inside their own heads.

What most guys are looking for is a set of clear female signals that tell them when a woman is definitely warm for their form.

Does this exist? Well, here are a few signs that should tell you that she probably wants you to ask her out.

1- She’s “in your face”
Suddenly, you’ll become aware of her presence everywhere — she “just happens” to show up wherever you hang out; you keep passing her in the hallway at work; she “accidentally” bumps into you; she maneuvers to stand close to you at a club.

What she’s doing is trying to get you to notice her and giving you an opportunity to make the first move. The problem with this female strategy is that a lot of guys are completely oblivious to it and, consequently, throw away a lot of chances to hook up. Men are direct; women are indirect. So, next time a woman starts appearing regularly in your path, be aware that she’s likely doing it on purpose.

2- She has all the right moves
A lot of people say that bodies can’t lie. Nature has programmed humans with a complex set of non-verbal flirting signals that just flow freely when people are interested in someone. These range from the widening of the iris when looking at the object of desire to more overt displays, such as smiling or touching.

Here are a few body language cues to watch out for:
• She points in your direction with her leg, foot or shoulders.
• She leans toward you while talking.
• She plays with or tosses her hair.
• She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass.
• She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks.
• She mirrors your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same).
• She smiles when you check her out.

If you become aware of a cluster of these signals, you can almost be sure that she’s giving you the green light for romance.

3- She’s never too busy
This is a cardinal rule in the dating game: If a woman is interested in going out with you, she will make herself available. This means that she will give you her work number or e-mail address, she will quickly answer or return your call and she will accept your invitation to get together — and if she’s busy on the day you specify, she will say something like, “Well, I can’t this Saturday, but next Saturday would be fine.”

You’ll never hear from an interested woman things like, “I’m really busy right now” or “Let me check my schedule” or “I just got out of a bad relationship, so I’m all mixed up about men.” Even if she’s actively dating someone else, she will keep the lines of communication open with you for the possibility of future contact.

4- She’s curious about you
A woman who’s interested in you wants to know everything about you (so she can talk about you with her girlfriends). She will quiz you about your family, your background, and your tastes in things like food, music and movies. Very often, what she’s doing is trying to catalog your interests so that she can mimic your likes and dislikes in order to bond with you. If you’re crazy about hot-air ballooning, suddenly, she is, too.

5- She uses “The Probe” on you
“The Probe” is the female tool used for ascertaining a man’s financial resources. The Probe seems like a series of casual questions, but behind it is a ruthless calculator that’s ticking away. When a woman first meets a man that she might be interested in dating, she will quiz him on his job, where he lives and what kind of car he drives — all within the confines of a natural conversation. If you give the “right” answers, then the flirting signals will follow. But if you aren’t up to her “standards,” she’s gone in a cloud of dust.

6- She “futures” you
An interested woman is wide open for any future plans with you. In fact, she will often say something like, “Oh, you like bowling, too? We should do that some time.” When she’s operating in this mode, make no mistake about it — she wants you to ask her out.

7- She’s on pins and needles
If she’s really interested, she’ll be as nervous as a cat around you, especially if you’re clueless about reading her signals. Of course, she could be just a normally shy person, so watch how she interacts with others. If she’s only fidgety around you, then she’s probably thinking romance.

8- She’s jealous of other women you talk to
She has the green-eyed monster on her back. An interested woman will watch her competition like a hawk (and with talons bared). So if you notice her steaming just because you’re joking around with other women, you can be sure that she wants you to be more than just her friend.

These are some of the most obvious signals women emit when they want you. But be on your toes — spotting just one of these signs might not necessarily be enough to determine her interest (a lot of women are open and friendly to everyone). But if a lot of these signals are coming your way, it’s a pretty safe bet that you could score a date this weekend.